Working with Anger

When we're angry, we do and say things that we regret later.
Anger makes us lose control of ourselves, so we speak cruelly to others. Each of us has a hidden cache of events in our lives that we don't like to remember, because we're ashamedof how we acted on those occasions.

Sometimes we wonder why others don't like us. We think we're pretty nice people! But if we look at how we treat others, especially when we're angry, then it's clear why they don't trust us.

Are you guilty of the above? I am. =(

It's important to be honest with ourselves and to recognise our anger, rather than to pretend it doesn't exist.
However, recognising we're angry is different from verbally and physically expressing it. When we let our anger out, we risk making other people miserable.

Techniques to help dissolve our anger:
1.If someone blames us for something we didn't do, there is no reason to be angry at something untrue.

2. Remember the kindness of the "enemy". She points out our mistakes so we can correct them and improve our character. She also gies us the opportunity to practice patience.

3. Give the pain to our selfish attitude by recognising it as the source of all our problems.

4. Ask ourselves, "Is it the person's nature to act like this?"
If it is, there is no reason to be angry, for it would be like being annoyed with fire for burning.
Also ask ourselves, "Is it the person's nature to harm us?"
If the person's nature isn't harmful, then there's no use getting angry at him. His inconsiderate behaviour was a fluke;it's not his nature.

5. Examine the disadvantages of anger and grudge-holding. This gives us tremendous energy to let go of these destructive emotions.

6.Recognise that the other person's unhappiness and confusion are making him harm us. Since we know what it's like to be unhappy, we can empathise with him. Thus, he becomes the object of our compassion, not the object of our anger.

7.Examine, how we got involved in the situation. This has 2 parts:

a. What actions did we do to prompt the disagreement? Examining this helps us to understand why the other person is upset.

b. Recognise that unpleasant situations are due to our having harmed others earlier. Seeing our own destructive actions as the principal cause, we can learn from past mistakes and resolved to act better in the future.

8. Ask ourselves, " Can I do something about it?" If we can, then anger is out of place because we can improves the situation. If we can't change the situation, anger is useless because nothing can be done.


Whether or not these techniques work for us depends on us. We have to practice them repeatedly in order to build up new mental and emotional habits. I will try my best to practice them, how about you? =)